


He Thought He Had Nothing To Lose So He Kissed Her

by Madalayna



Series: Lost and Found [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Leo Fitz, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Gratuitous Smut, POV Jemma Simmons, Sci-Ops Era (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), Stark Expo 2010, alternate universe from the fic this is companion to as well, it's totally my kinda thing, so gratuitous it can't be in the real fic, so if you're into that kinda thing it's your lucky day, this is just pure smut, yeah this is just totally gratuitous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 12:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4059751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalayna/pseuds/Madalayna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a companion piece to my ginormous fic Countermeasures. Read it after chapter 17...or not if you just want the smut. It's pretty much what it says on the tin. He kisses her. They sex. Gratuitous AU addition to my Countermeasures storyline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Thought He Had Nothing To Lose So He Kissed Her

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, sometimes I really want them to kiss...and then this happens. Sorry.

“Jemma?” Their faces were only a few inches apart and she looked up from her her finger on the duvet to meet his eyes. “Don’t go.” His eyes looked so sad in that moment that her heart broke for him and she wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

Reaching toward him, slightly giddy at the sweet entreaty of his words, she intended to reach up and stroke his cheek. At the same moment, he brought his hand up as well, their fingers clashing in the middle, but it somehow ended with his fingers gently clasping hers and his thumb stroking over her knuckles.

Her lips spread slowly into a shy smile. The room seemed very quiet suddenly, the only sound she could hear was someone next door running the taps. He looked into her eyes and what he was about to do seemed clear: He was going to kiss her.

She didn’t know when it started exactly. But sometime in the last three years, she’d begun to wonder if this was the road their friendship was headed down. Though she already knew that she loved Fitz more than nearly anyone else in her life, she had begun to think she could actually fall in love with her best friend.

She was filled with a tremulous fear. It was like her heart was dropping through the pit of her stomach when she thought of how much they were risking, the possibility that they could lose what they now had. It also made her thrum with a wild excitement that buzzed through her veins when she thought of him feeling the same way about her.

More than once, during late nights at the lab or just lying in bed in the dead of night, she’d mulled over the idea of she and Fitz becoming lovers. It seemed perfect somehow, partners in every way. Then in the unforgiving light of day, she would see him, and the reality of how little she understood that part of him would hit her. She wasn’t even certain that he fancied her. If he did, he’d never shown it. She feared rejection but also the embarrassment that it would cause and the resulting damper on their relationship.

Eyes still locked on his, she rubbed her thumb over his and then caught it between hers, applying a gentle pressure. It would have seemed a slight, silly gesture with anyone else but Fitz took it as encouragement, as she knew he would. He shifted toward her on the bed, closing the distance until she let her eyes slip shut in anticipation of his lips.

It wasn’t as ardent as she’d imagined their first kiss might be (when she allowed herself a rare moment to fantasize). Instead, his lips were delicate against hers, inquisitive, and unassuming in their passion. His mouth moved carefully, his searching lips dragging slowly over hers, the pressure waxing and waning in an undulating rhythm that quickly sent a flutter of desire racing through her.

She slid her fingers up his arm to rest on his shoulder, tightening her grip until he eliminated the distance between them to press against her. Her diaphragm didn’t seem to want to expand properly as his kiss grew more intense, lips sliding heatedly over hers. When the tip of his tongue tickled over her lower lip, she opened to give him access. She didn’t even hear her own blissful hum from the back of her throat as he caressed a tickling path over her tongue. When he finally leaned back, his eyes were wide and smoky with desire. She cupped his cheek and pressed another quick kiss to his soft lips.

“Don’t go, Jemma,” he said again and his voice was deeper, rougher, crackling in the back of his throat in a way she found suddenly sexy. He traced a short trail down her cheek with the tip of his nose and she shivered in his arms.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered, even as his lips came back to cover hers again.

She ran her fingers into the hair at his neckline, following a path upward, scrunching her fingers through his bouncy curls. As their tongues met, the first flush of true heat spiraled low in her belly; a spring drawing tighter with each brush of his lips.

She only took the barest moment to wonder if this was the right thing to do. The rational part of her mind had always been ahead of her emotions on the subject of Fitz, but it seemed now her feelings had finally caught up.

Her fingers found the knot in his tie and began to drag it down. He pulled away, his eyes impossibly wide and even a bit stunned. “Jemma,” he said and it had a definite edge to it. Somehow she instinctively knew he was asking for her to be certain.

She pulled his tie free and said, “I told you I’m not going anywhere.” He searched her eyes for a moment before seeming to accept her answer.

He shook his head briefly, as if trying to shake himself out of a daze and said, “Is this really—I mean—”

“Hush,” she silenced him, already anticipating his rambling worries. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. She pulled back to look him in the eyes but suddenly afraid of what he might say, broke their deep gaze. “We’re always together in every way, just not… _this_ way…and I—“ she looked up again to see his serious expression. She squeezed his arm where her fingers clung and swallowed thickly, “I want to be together like that, too. If…you do.”

His face seemed a bit awed and he didn’t answer for a moment. She bit her lip and worried that she’d gone too far.

“Course I do, Jemma. You're gorgeous and...I love you.” He buried his face in the hollow between her neck and shoulder, their ardor having cooled, as he just hugged her to him. His voice was muffled and hesitant as he added, “I just…I can’t believe you want that, too.”

“Why not, Fitz?” She stroked over his back. “You know that I love you.”

He raised up to see her face. “You could have anyone.” He stated it simply, like a fact. It was a bit of a shock for her to realize that for some reason he thought he wasn’t good enough. It had never occurred to her before that he would think he was lacking in some way when she thought so much of him. He was the best person she knew.

“Can I have you, then?” she asked, brushing her fingertips through the short hair at his temple.

He inhaled sharply and she felt him tremble at her words. He nodded slowly, bringing his mouth down on hers again in a sweet crush of lips. He just parted from her enough to whisper, “I’m yours.”

She leaned into him, feeling momentarily dizzy from either his lips or his tender words, she wasn’t sure. As he kissed her, his fingers stroked through her damp hair while she began to work the buttons of his shirt open. She was rewarded with a gasp as she brought her fingers to the strip of bare chest she’d uncovered. She immediately tried to find more, pushing the edges of his shirt to the sides to slide her hands over his smooth skin. He lingered over her lips before finally easing back to fuss with his shirt rather frantically trying to get it off his shoulders and wrists.

This time when he came back his mouth was less controlled, more chaotic. He punctuated the deep caresses of their lips with little pants and quiet moans. Her skin felt warm, almost uncomfortably so. His fingers were toying with the hem of her top, one finger slipping under teasingly only to pull back and start again.

He looked briefly shocked when she pushed him back suddenly, rolling him so she could bring herself flat against him and take control of the action. She pressed small kisses to his chest and down his belly. He was trying not to laugh but he was a bit ticklish so she switched to little swipes of her tongue across his skin which earned her low breathy noises of approval.

She moved up to scrape her teeth against his neck and nibble at his jaw. She put a fingertip to his soft lips and brushed over them gently; replacing it with a kiss when he tried to nip at the pad of her finger playfully.

He rolled them over again smoothly, his mouth growing more demanding and for the first time she felt him hard against her belly. It sent a thrill of excitement though her that she’d done this to him. Though less obvious to him, he had made her want him, too, in a way that she never had before…or at least had never allowed herself to feel so fully before. She could no longer ignore the insistent throb of restless tension between her legs that his kisses were bringing to a steep precipice. She knew soon they would have to take the plunge.

She worried at how rarely sex was so organic as to flow smoothly from first kiss to consummation without a bump or two in the lane. There always came a moment, in her experience, when things became awkward, where the final hurdle had to be crossed. But from the moment he’d broken through whatever mental barriers he’d hung onto for so long to finally kiss her, she’d decided that no matter what, she wanted to see this through. Fitz wasn’t just her best friend, he was also the only person she could ever imagine committing herself to on anything like a permanent basis. She’d admitted that to herself years ago and this all felt like a logical extension of that choice.

Feeling a bit impish, she reached down to lightly stroke across the bulge in his jeans that he was unsuccessfully trying to keep angled away from her. Her lips curved involuntarily at the thought of his priggishness. He inhaled sharply at her touch and pulled back.

His eyes followed her lips for a moment, as if he were still debating whether to ignore the intrusion in favor of capturing them again. When his gaze lit on her eyes, the want she saw there was thick and dark and it made the pulse between her legs pound until she had to squeeze her thighs together to keep it at bay. He didn’t look surprised this time, he looked at her lustfully, in a way she’d never seen from him before and it made her chest hitch at the sheer rawness of it. She sucked in a feeble breath, nearly feeling like there was no air left in the room.

“Mmm, Fitz. Could we—let’s, eh, get into bed.” Despite her faltering speech, she was almost embarrassed by the sheer need dripping from her words. She was struck with a sudden insecurity, as if he might now hesitate, so as if more incentive were needed, she rolled her hips against him suggestively. His eyes snapped shut as his mouth went slack.

“Yeah, okay,” he said immediately, face serious as he opened his eyes. He sat up and quickly pivoted his legs over the side of the bed to toe off his trainers. She got up and crossed the room intent on her own goal. Even as she did so, she heard the unmistakeable sound of Fitz undoing his zip then the jangling items in his pockets hitting the floor. Thanking her lucky stars that this was a personal trip and not one paid for by S.H.I.E.L.D., she got the small shrink wrapped packet of three condoms from the min-bar. (Ten bloody dollars! Highway robbery!)

When she returned, he was already pulling the covers back over himself. She threw the packet on the night table and raked her top over her head before she had time to think too much. He seemed keen at least, she thought, as she marked the slight impatience in his eyes. She tried not to think about what would happen after this first hunger was sated. Worry would creep in if she dwelt on things as yet undecided, spoiling everything, and, illogical though it was to listen to feelings, she somehow just _felt_ that everything would all be alright in the end. She wondered idly if this was what it was like to be in love. She never had before and so had no idea what it felt like.

She considered stripping down to her skin, but suddenly overtaken by the uncharacteristic insecurity again, she shucked out of her pajama bottoms and slipped between the cool sheets still wearing her bra and knickers. Besides, she reasoned, anticipation always made things hotter, right?

He was there in a moment, his body heat feverish as he pressed against her, lips finding her neck as he brought his hand to the soft curve of her breast. He soon had her breathless, the useless fabric of her bra pulled down, letting her breasts spill over the top. He gave fair and equal attention to each with his mouth, nipping the soft flesh on the underside before he sucked the tender, puckered centers. She finally snagged the hook from somewhere behind her and managed to shed the useless bit of lace between them. He kissed soft, wet kisses down her belly, his tongue flicking over her skin as she gripped him involuntarily between her thighs trying to relieve the tight aching clench below.

She felt the unpleasant cling of her knickers and was relieved when his hands went to toy with the waistband. He slid the flat of his hand over her belly just above the fabric. His slow shy increments were starting to drive her wild. He was pressed against her and though it seemed he was trying to avoid contact, she occasionally felt the wet slide of his cock against her thigh. She rolled up into him, locking her leg around his hips to press her aching clit against his hardness.

“Ah, _fuck_ , Jemma,” he moaned as she rolled her hips into him. “Let’s—give me the—mmm, _Jesus_ ,” he managed when she rutted up and down over him.

She went back to hook the corner of the packet and couldn’t help notice his eyes on her breasts as she leaned. He bent to kiss the one closest and she felt his finger running over the skin in one spot. She looked down to see that he was caressing a slightly larger than average freckle. He saw he’d caught her notice and pressing a kiss to it, said, “That one’s mine.”

She rolled her hips into him again and in a breathy voice, said, “They’re _all_ yours now.”

He smiled happily at her words as she passed him the packets, still encased in their shrink-wrapped binding. He fiddled with his fingers before finally attacking the plastic with his teeth. “Bloody…thing…Hell are they…for chrissake!” He said between strategic bites to the corner of the plastic. She tried not to laugh but settled for covering her mouth over with her hand. He apparently couldn’t find it in himself to glare at her now and he finally managed to get it open. Quickly tossing the excess to the floor, he fought with the last of the foil packaging. Thankfully, it wasn’t nearly as difficult. He had rolled on the condom before he seemed to remember her knickers were still on.

He leaned over and kissed her, curling his fingers inside the waistband as he began to drag them slowly down her bum. It was too slow for her liking and she brought her knees up to help both of them finally managing to get them awkwardly from beneath her leg that rested against the bed. She vowed to remember that leaving things on wasn’t as sexy as it sounded.

As soon as he had slipped her knickers from the last foot, she pressed herself against him but he pushed back, rolling against her so he might be on top. She wasn’t sure how much time had elapsed since he’d first pressed his lips to hers, but it seemed both fleeting and as though time had stretched out impossibly long and based on his eagerness…well, she was afraid their finale would be short-lived indeed.

She pushed back against his shoulders, his expression was all confusion for perhaps one second before he broke into a satisfied grin. He went back willingly and she quickly hooked her knee over his leg to bring his narrow hips snugly between her legs. He slid his hands up her thighs, gripping, testing the feel under his hands and she splayed her fingers over his ribs as she angled back, reaching between them to line them up. His tip already sliding wetly against her opening, she began to sink down when she saw some tiny glimmer of some unidentified worry in his eyes and it troubled her. She stopped, feeling him twitch at her entrance.

“Okay?” she asked, brushing the thumb of her free hand lightly over his eyebrow and then bringing her fingers down to trace along the side of his face.

“Yeah, s’okay, keep going,” he said through tightened lips, but still she hesitated. His hands were on her hips and he pushed down minutely, not enough to actually shift her position, but enough to let her know he meant it. His head went back a bit, eyes closing, and she suddenly realized it wasn’t anything wrong, but perhaps just a bit too right.

She sank down and started to move. He immediately began to vocalize. “Ah, mmm.”

She wasn’t sure what she expected, since a silent Fitz seemed rather like a contradiction. He wasn’t particularly loud though as everything had to make its way out of his rather tightly clenched jaw and throat.

“Mmmm, mmm, ah.” he groaned, his voice rough and crackling in the back of his throat. She brought her ear closer to his mouth and almost thought she heard a sort of rolling purr-like sound. She was nearly embarrassed by how adorable she found it.

She quickly discovered that on particularly strong downward strokes he would swear and, to her surprise, she found it a bit thrilling. She quickened her pace, sliding forward, putting pressure where she wanted it. He kept his grip on her hips, using the leverage to thrust upward to meet her in a union that sent shocks of pleasure flaring up within her.

Suddenly, he slipped his hands around to the small of her back and came up to meet her. His lips crashed into hers with enough force to border the uncomfortable, but the new angle made her moan out a series of vowel sounds that she hoped he wouldn’t remember later. He cupped her breast with one hand and reached between them with the other to stroke the smoldering heat between her legs to flame. The sudden rush of pleasure took her momentarily out of herself into a blackness of nothing but sensation.

When she came back to her body, he was still holding her firmly around the small of her back, still shifting her hips and groaning as she blinked back at him.

Searching her face he said, “That was, eh, you just?” She nodded, realizing. “I need—” He cocked his chin toward the bed and started to ease them over together.

She let her body go loosely to the side, allowing herself be manipulated as he barely lost contact so smooth was his maneuvering. He drove into her sharply once he’d regained leverage and against her still-sensitive nerves it made her gasp.

“Too much?” he asked in her ear, sounding abashed.

She shook her head quickly. “No, good.” She wrapped her legs around him and slipped her fingers into his thick hair.

He kissed her neck and continued his quick, firm thrusts. She began to feel the trembling quiver of another orgasm and soon she was vibrating in the aftermath as he continued on, keeping up the same rhythm. His body was covered with a sheen of sweat, his saturated hair clinging to his brow in little clumps.

“Are you—is it…okay?” she asked finally, the new insecurity prickling in her brain.

“Stupid piss poor excuse for a…condom,” he grit out. “S’like bloody fourteen mil.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Well,” she said after she recovered. “I’m certainly not going to complain. But, if you like, eh, I could…” she let the offer hang in the air for a moment, trying to see if he was interested.

He was silent for a beat with his face pressed against her neck and she wasn’t sure if he was contemplating or wondering what she meant. She was about to clarify when he panted, “No, I’m…close. Maybe…later.”

“I’ll look forward to that,” she said with a lilt to her tone.

Then he groaned in her ear, hot breath tickling as he stiffening against her. When his limbs went slack again, she felt him trying to roll himself off, but after all his effort she felt a bit sorry for him. The independent part of her that had never wanted to rely on a man for anything in her life cried out when she realized that she really just wanted to feel him against her for a bit longer. But another stronger part of her mind told her that wanting something wasn’t the same as depending on it. She couldn’t go through life never letting herself accept love and affection for fear of growing dependent on it either.

Stroking his back tenderly, brushing figure eights over his neck, she smiled and said, “You’re fine where you are.”

She continued to touch him lovingly, letting herself enjoy the intimacy, petting the back of his hair and tracing over the rim of his ear.

When he finally rolled onto his back, pulling the sheet up to cover himself, he rubbed his ear vigorously, smiled sweetly and said, “I see how it is. You wait until I’m helpless so y'can toy with me.”

She smiled, knowing he was joking. She curled into his side and slipped an arm around his ribs, pressing a small kiss to his side.

“This, ehm,” he started, searching for the right words, “is not how I thought this trip was goin’ t'go.” She glanced up to see him still rubbing his ear slowly. He looked down to meet her eyes.

“But that’s not a…bad thing, is it?” she asked, hesitantly, feeling some of her brashness melting away.

He must have heard the uncertainty in her tone because he pulled her against him then, squeezing her to his chest as he said, “No, Jemma, it’s the best thing.”

She looked up again to meet his eyes. “I love you, Fitz”

“I know,” he said, affecting his American accent.

“Oi, no quoting Star Wars in bed! That’s a new rule.”

“I don’t know if I can agree t’that one, Jemma,” he said shaking his head sadly. “I mean Star Wars today and—What? Doctor Who tomorrow? Sets a terrible precedent.”

Smiling, she half-heartedly slapped at his belly and it made a surprisingly hollow sound. “Oh! Hungry? You barely ate at the restaurant.”

“Bloody starving,” he said significantly.

“I can order us something from room service if you like?” she said. He was already nodding at the word _order_.

“One small difficulty,” he said, tightening his grip on her.

“Hmmm,” she intoned, already thinking on what she’d like to order.

“I don’t want to let y'go.” Something in his tone made her look into his eyes. She saw some sort of worry that had formed across his brow and she remembered what had gotten them into all this in the first place.

“I’ll never leave you, Fitz,” she said, her tone suddenly even more serious than his. But she knew that she needed to impress him with how much she meant it. “No matter what happens.” She rubbed over his belly, taking a moment to fight back her newly threatening tears. “Promise me that you’ll never leave either? No matter what.”

“Yeah. Not unless…we decide together. Deal?” Neither of them yet knowing about all the things that could make such a bargain impossible.

She nodded against his chest, her vision obscured by the glaze of tears that she wouldn’t let fall. When she felt she could speak without her voice breaking she said, “Deal.”


End file.
